Last month today (September)

Time turns flames to embers, you'll have new Septembers.

Hi! I started this experiment of keeping a journal thingy at the end of May and enjoyed it. Continued throughout June, July, and August. Now, September. If the entry is too long for email, you might need to click on a variation of “view entire post“ at the bottom. Thank you for reading, ily.

Sep 5

People are mad about the Wuthering Heights teaser. I kind of get it.

I grow very attached to some books. For instance, I love Karin Slaughter’s Will Trent series. They’re gruesome police procedurals with a traumatized special agent who excels at his job. He has dyslexia, but forces himself to read books. He cares for a small chihuahua called Betty. He’s tall and lanky and blonde. I love him. While I rarely have book boyfriends, he fits the bill.

The novels have been adapted into an ongoing ABC series. Will Trent is played by Ramón Rodríguez. From what I could gather, the content is network-friendly. Betty seems like the only character closely resembling her book counterpart.

I can’t make myself watch it. I find it impossible to reconcile the version of Will that lives in my brain and heart with what I saw in trailers. From this angle, I get it.

The part of me that doesn’t get it is the part that hasn’t read Wuthering Heights, so doesn’t care about book-to-screen changes. The movie is obviously far from a faithful adaptation. The title is in quotation marks. The music is by Charli XCX. I don’t know how much clearer they could have made it.

Maybe Margo’s character is reading Wuthering Heights, or it’s a movie within the movie. It looks like a reinterpretation, so the outrage may be misplaced.

I’m biased because I highly enjoyed Emerald Fennell’s previous two films, Promising Young Woman and Saltburn. Visually, they’re hella immersive. Story-wise, they’re close to perfect.

Whatever, I’m sat for this next one. Seated? I never know.

(Also, I didn’t get the Jacob Elordi hype until I saw this teaser. I understand now.)

Sep 8

Yungblud’s performance at the VMAs was iconic. So was Sabrina Carpenter’s.

(Editing Alexandra here. Fellow Substacker Daniel Puzzo reads and enjoys these monthly recaps. I know he’s particularly interested in the Sabrina bits, so let’s expand for his sake. She’s headlining Coachella in 2026! She’ll be on SNL Oct 18! You can catch her in something Muppets-related! Her new Redken ad is a marvel! It’s all Sabrina, all of the time! You must be pumped!!)

Sep 9

All moved out. It’s the end of an era!

I own too much stuff, and I don’t even have many possessions. Don’t know how to explain this in a way that makes sense. I loaded them all in a van that will follow me to my hometown this upcoming weekend. The apartment looked sad, empty, and devoid of all personality once I finished scrubbing every inch I had the patience to.

Oh, and one of my Notes blew up. It took me three seconds to write. Those I put actual thought into never do numbers.

Sep 10

Spent the entire morning trying to figure out if we’re doing war. Love that for me.

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Audible is giving me another free trial for some reason. I’ve been tossing and turning for days over which audiobook to listen to.

I wish I were joking. This is serious business.

Today I found out that an oral history of The Vampire Diaries came out, and the audio isn’t on Everand (where I typically listen to audiobooks). I love books about TV shows, I love behind-the-scenes tidbits, I love TVD, this is excellent timing, can’t wait to listen!!

Since we’re on the topic, I recently finished a few books:

• Smile for the Cameras by Miranda Smith: didn’t get too attached to the characters and the narrative meanders in the middle, but it’s a fun time if you like slashers;

• Everyone Is Lying to You by Jo Piazza: very into thrillers that revolve around influencers, and this has some thoughtful commentary on the phenomenon, but I didn’t feel like it brings anything new to the table; the plot also goes off the rails in the second half, it ended up not being my jam;

• Too Old for This by Samantha Downing: I liked this so much! It’s about a retired serial killer grandma who has to get back at it when someone comes digging into the past; the dark humor worked well, and I had no issue rooting for the protagonist, is there something wrong with me? Better not dwell on that right now.

All three were books I was looking forward to. Glad I’m catching up with that list. Less glad I continue to avoid fantasy.

Sep 11

Bad Omens have a new song, Impose. I don’t like it much.

It’s fine. I don’t need to like every song my favorite artists put out. If anything, I’m glad to see them experiment with their sound. Doing the same thing over and over leads to stagnation, which doesn’t spell longevity.

Funny, this reminded me of the Pitchfork review for Even in Arcadia, Sleep Token’s latest album. They gave it a 2.3. I enjoy the album and still believe you should check out the article. It’s well-written and funny.

But it made me realize that I’m not particularly protective of the artists I love. As a Taylor Swift enthusiast, for example, it’s mind-boggling to me the lengths some fans will go to defend her from any type of criticism. They extend this courtesy to her entourage, too. It’s all very parasocial, sometimes to what feels like an unhealthy degree. I worried I might fall into the vortex as well, around the time I went to the Eras tour. I seem safe.

Anyway, it doesn’t bother me when someone criticizes the stuff I like. It would annoy me if you made it a point to rant about how much you hate Taylor, knowing I like her. But if you have pertinent observations to share about her music, public persona, or billionaire status – I’ll listen. Occasionally, I might agree.

TL;DR: I love being a fan, but I no longer have it in me to be a diehard fan. The Even in Arcadia review made me chuckle instead of sending me into a blind rage. It doesn’t change the fact that I enjoy the album.

I would also make a lousy music critic. When it comes to books, movies, and TV shows, I can make the distinction between “this is good but not for me” and “this is garbage.” When it comes to music, there’s usually only “I like this,” and “I don’t.” I have no idea how to tell whether a song is good by any kind of objective standards.

Sep 13

Damiano David covered Pink Pony Club. That’s all.

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It’s been 20 years since the Supernatural pilot. All the social media anniversary tribute posts are warming my heart.

It might be the perfect time to rewatch the show from the beginning. I dropped out of Prison Break a few episodes into season 4, and it left Netflix soon after. Watched some Big Bang Theory to get through packing and cleaning, but I’m not actively watching anything right now.

I haven’t seen Wednesday season 2 (got bored while watching the first episode, what is happening to me??). Haven’t even finished The Bear. Gen V is coming back soon, and I’m meh about it. I loved Peacemaker season 1, haven’t bothered to check out the new episodes yet.

I don’t like it when my brain is overwhelmed. It refuses to engage with stuff I would normally be into.

Sep 14

Watched Smile last night. It has terrifying imagery and awesome jump scares, but I found it somewhat boring otherwise. Like It Follows light. Still gave me a nightmare. I thought not being alone in the house would prevent that. Maybe I should stick to horror comedies. When I sample “serious” horror, I often get the creeps.

*

Started to read The Long Walk by Stephen King. While I like On Writing, his fiction never appealed to me much. Read Pet Sematary, found it so-so. But I had this as an ebook on my phone ever since Emily Fox raved about it years ago. The Long Walk and The Stand were the only ones from him I thought might be up my alley.

With the movie out, it will be difficult to avoid spoilers. Might as well.

I don’t like to read on my phone because my eyes get tired, but I get very into it and can focus better, as my brain finds comfort in screens. FML. I’ll buy a Boox Palma if I ever climb out of the financial hole I’m buried in at the moment. It runs on Android and has been on my wishlist for a long time.

On audio, I’m listening to The Vampire Diaries book and loving it. Have two hours left, don’t want it to end. It’s everything a fan could want. It gives insight into how the show came to be, features contributions from the people involved, and tackles some of the controversies, albeit superficially.

I’m offended on behalf of Nina Dobrev, who was never paid as much as the boys, despite putting in more work at times. I can’t believe the writers killed off Katherine, one of my favorite TV characters, because the powers that be didn’t want to pay Nina what she rightly deserved. It’s enraging.

I found the way they wrote the show – making stuff up as they went – impressive. I could never. They literally used to say things like “that’s next season’s problem” when it came to resolving cliffhangers. Judging by the way the series burned through plot, that must have been stressful.

As a fun fact for fellow TVD fans, the book reveals what was in the letter Caroline’s mom wrote her before she died. If that doesn’t make you want to pick it up, I don’t know what will. It’s heartwarming.

*

I should write a newsletter. Don’t feel like it. It’s a book listicle, which is one of the easiest posts for me to write once I settle on the entries. But I’m so worn out that the idea of sitting down at my laptop feels like a chore (I usually draft these updates on my phone).

It’s been a busy week with the move, and I haven’t recovered. Muscles I didn’t even know existed ache. I have weird bruises. I’m sleep deprived. All I want to do is chill¹.

Sep 15

The Emmys happened last night. When I was younger and less jaded, I used to stay up to watch award shows live. The Emmys, Oscars, Golden Globes – everything. Given that the ceremonies kick off at around 3 am my time, it was quite the feat. I would find an online stream and suffer through the commercials. I was that dedicated.

Now, I’m not even sure who hosted. I did like:

• Jenna Ortega’s outfit (fire!!)

• Some lovely acceptance speeches (Noah Wyle! Cristin Milioti! Hannah Einbinder! Jeff Hiller!)

• The Gilmore Girls reunion

• Colbert!!

• Ran out of bullets sooner than expected

Happy for The Studio and The Pitt because I like them both, and I haven’t seen Severance. As far as The Pitt is concerned, I think the show winning says a lot about how the public currently prefers their TV.

Weekly releases that encourage community building. Stories that capture both the joy and despair of being alive. Complex, flawed characters you can root for.

I’m a fan of prestige TV, but there’s something comforting about a well-crafted medical drama. There’s a reason why Grey’s Anatomy was so influential for me. A hospital setting makes it easy to get invested.

The Pitt also brings something new to the table with its one season = one shift structure. Can’t wait for season 2.

Sep 17

Was about to complain that the rollout for Taylor Swift’s upcoming album is underwhelming, but it was just announced that she’ll be on the Graham Norton show on Oct 3. I’ll take it. Graham Norton is a hoot. She’ll share the couch with Cillian Murphy, among others. His facial expressions never disappoint.

Sep 18

The dog got fussy as I was cleaning. Thought he had a bathroom emergency, so I rushed him outside. Turns out, the emergency was that he wanted to chew on a big stick.

Since I pretty much let him do whatever he wants nowadays, considering his circumstances, I sat down as he went to town on said stick. I didn’t grab my phone or headphones before heading out. I was sweaty from cleaning and wearing a rumpled house outfit.

At first, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to do with my hands or eyes or brain. I started to berate myself for not changing before leaving the house. For not washing my hair the previous day. For not bothering much with what I look like for the past couple of weeks.

The minutes trickled by, and I finally noticed the breeze. The clouds. Dog’s dedication to chomping on his stick. We sat there for almost half an hour. He put his teeth to good use, I allowed my brain to decompress.

It was my first truly peaceful moment in forever.

*

Jimmy Kimmel was pulled from ABC indefinitely because of a Charlie Kirk-related comment. Actually, no. The show was pulled because ABC and its parent company caved to pressure from the country’s supreme leaders.

The US president has such a horrifying streak that I doubted his regime would still manage to shock me. Yet, the ease with which this has happened is shocking. I’m appalled and disgusted. As a journalist, I’m also scared.

I initially wrote former journalist, but it doesn’t feel right in this context. Once you become a journalist, you’ll likely always be a journalist at heart. It’s a vocation more than a gig.

I aim to both inform and entertain through my writing. I double and triple-check when researching. My first instinct is to read between the lines. All that doesn’t go away because I’m no longer practicing.

Seeing something like this occur in the US felt like being punched in the throat, unable to breathe for a few minutes. It happening so soon after the Colbert cancellation adds extra salt to the wound.

It feels like a test. How far can the media conglomerate bend to “comply” before their customers actually do something about it?

Sep 20

Songs currently on repeat:

• Handsome – Allison Ponthier (much fun, but the bridge feels like it’s written specifically for TikTok)

• End of You – Poppy, Amy Lee, Courtney LaPlante (teen Alexandra, who used to scream to Evanescence, is enthralled)

• Gabriela - KATSEYE (I blame my friend’s influence for this one; ultimately, who am I to reject a modern-day Jolene?)

• Nobody’s Son – Sabrina Carpenter (it grew on me the most; I continue to play the entire album on repeat)

• The Great Unknown – Ice Nine Kills (back to our regularly scheduled programming)

A very special mention for Paris Paloma’s Good Boy. The lyrics, the message, the production, the fact that she has Tom Blyth in the video, who played young President Snow in the Hunger Games prequel – I’m in awe. It’s a bop, too!

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I received my first-ever PDF ARC. For those of you who only saw random letters back there, ARC stands for advance reader’s copy. It means a copy of an unpublished book.

While I own a physical ARC of Emily Henry’s Funny Story (5 stars!), I won it in a giveaway. This time around, I got an email from the publisher, and a nice representative offered to send it to me because I might be into it.

I almost ignored the email. Still occasionally receive press releases and thought it was a mistake. But was genuinely interested in the book, so I replied. I’m over the moon, as silly as that might sound.

The only downside is that the PDF has 1200+ pages. It will be the ultimate test for my attention span. The book comes out in late October, and I would like to finish it before the release date. Being a mood reader doesn’t help much.

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Spent the last two days working on a newsletter post about (500) Days of Summer.

I was toying with the idea for a while. It took a semblance of shape on Thursday, and I was compelled to immediately sit down and type. Wrote and tweaked until I got sleepy around 1 am.

Yesterday, I was plagued by horrible allergies, rivers of tears falling from my eyes. Even so, I kept editing and published the post.

Happy with how it turned out. More importantly, I enjoyed the process to the point where I ignored all else. I felt inspired and energized.

Sex is great, but that feeling? When you’re locked in, invested in delivering the best version of a draft you possibly can? When you struggle with the sentences and paragraphs until you figure them out?

It might be my very favorite thing.

Sep 24

Watched Smile 2 last night because I’m a masochist. Liked it more than the first. The jump scares are equally effective, and this one is more fun. No nightmares. New Brain is an earworm.

Also watched Swiped, a movie about how Whitney Wolfe helped create Tinder and then founded Bumble. Went in with low expectations, ended up having a great time.

However, it bugged me that the movie depicted Tinder as toxic and proceeded to paint Bumble as this magical app that fixed online dating. I doubt that’s accurate. Granted, I’ve never used Bumble, so what do I know?

The movie tackles tech, toxic workplaces and relationships, online harassment. It doesn’t go deep into any of its themes, but it paints a compelling general picture.

*

YouTube content I consumed lately:

• Jimmy Kimmel has returned (good!)

• The future is here, and it sucks (*sigh*)

• The Death of Music “Criticism” (I could never be this eloquent on camera)

• performative readers, ‘book girlies’ & the aesthetification of books (really need to read that bell hooks book, don’t I?)

• Gianmarco Soresi: Thief of Joy (literally loled multiple times)

Also watched and loved Marc Maron’s Panicked HBO special.

Sep 26

I don’t have a newsletter topic for this weekend. I started and abandoned three drafts over the past few days. My (500) Days of Summer post did well (for me); I have no idea what to follow it with. Have this gnarly feeling that anything I write will be a letdown, especially as I’m not particularly inspired right now.

At the same time, I feel like a loser because I realize I’m overthinking this. It’s a silly internet blog.

Ugh, but it’s my silly internet blog.

*

Jeremy Strong will play Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network sequel from Aaron Sorkin. The eldest boy is perfect casting. I am deceased. This movie will become my entire personality.

Sep 27

The Facebook memories thingy is wild because today it reminded me I found cotton candy grapes at Lidl exactly three years ago. I bought them due to the fact that they were featured in Fresh. Used to be obsessed with that movie. Never had them before, was curious.

They were disgustingly sweet. They also severely messed up my digestive system, something I chose not to document online. Until now.

The things you’re willing to write about when you’re low on content ideas.

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Devoured Say You’ll Remember Me by Abby Jimenez. Devoured.

I’m so picky when it comes to romance that I’m over the moon whenever I stumble upon one I love. I liked the characters, the drama, the animals, the obstacles, the humor.

It did bug me that I once again related to the man more. Why do I typically relate to the men in romance books???

Maybe because the women are usually all sunshine and butterflies, while the men are sullen souls who need to learn how to enjoy life. It’s the popular grumpy/sunshine trope. I fit the grumpy archetype better.

*

Forgot to mention I finished The Long Walk and liked it quite a bit. It made my feet and legs and back hurt even though I was horizontal for most of the experience. That’s a big compliment.

Unfortunately, I seem to have missed the adaptation at the local cinema. There’s a small one in my hometown, and films run for only two weeks, from what I can gather. I’ve only been once. Will have to catch it on streaming.

Sep 29

Happy 10th birthday to Six of Crows, one of my favorite books! It not only introduced me to some of my most cherished characters ever, but it sparked an interest in fantasy as a whole. I reread the duology more often than I’m willing to publicly admit. This fan art is precious.

Author Leigh Bardugo is on Substack. She’s the only international writer I’ve attended a signing of, back in 2019. She had one in Budapest, it was close by.

No mourners. No funerals.

If we ever get book 3, I will scream for 5 minutes straight.

(Maybe I do have it in me to be a diehard fangirl after all.)

Sep 30

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are getting divorced. Love is dead.

She has the chance to do the funniest thing².

Oct 1

How is it October, time is insane.

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Taylor’s album The Life of a Showgirl comes out in two days!! The rollout has become exciting.

She will be on Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers. She really is doing interviews/actual promotion again, yay! There’s a pop-up installation in New York, looks spectacular. She’s even releasing all the lyric videos with behind-the-scenes commentary in cinemas. Sadly, not in Romania. Can’t believe the first time I’ll see the video for the lead single will be in shaky TikTok form.

Don’t care, I’m into the hype!!

*

My only goal for September was to make it through the move without breaking too much of my stuff. After a superficial inventory, the entire ordeal claimed solely a water bottle. I’ll mark that as a win.

I don’t believe I’ve processed the fact that I live in my hometown again, not really. But it’s been lovely to spend more time with dog. He’s precious.

That said, I need to do… something. Preferably of the productive variety.

Maybe resume my efforts to find a stable job, which are currently on pause. And establish some sort of publishing schedule for this newsletter. I’ve grown very fond of it. Relying on inspiration alone isn’t serving me well.

My long walks are once again part of my routine, though they’ve been tricky to integrate since I walk dog two or three times per day. He can’t do long anymore, so those are separate.

I guess I’m still in limbo. Still uncertain. Still waiting for life to magically fall into place with zero effort from my part. Unlikely.

Doing something it is. I’ll be 38 in November.

October is my favorite month.

Fingers crossed it will be gentle.

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1. Eventually published the book list:

2. Those pics are so iconic, I’m choosing to ignore the truth.