My country is on the brink of chaos (and I’m spiraling)

The case for making a mental health cheat sheet.

I’m writing this on Saturday night, the eve of the second round of Romanian presidential elections.

These elections were first held in late November. The results were annulled, with the courts citing Russian interference. Back then, a far-right, pro-Russian candidate many of us had never heard of, Călin Georgescu, won the first round after an aggressive TikTok campaign. He was banned from running again.

Now, the majority voted for George Simion in the first round on May 4, a hard-right nationalist backed by Georgescu. He’s a Trump fanboy who isn’t allowed to enter Moldova or Ukraine (two of our neighboring countries). And while he claims he’s not particularly interested in turning his back on the EU and NATO, many believe that’s exactly what he plans to do.

In the second round, taking place Sunday, he faces off against Nicușor Dan. Dan is the mayor of the capital, Bucharest, a centrist who is openly pro-EU. To keep things short, this election will basically decide whether Romania keeps a pro-Western trajectory moving forward or shifts toward isolationism.

Simion got twice as many votes as Dan in the first round, so things have been anxiety-inducing for the past couple of weeks. Scratch that, they’ve been anxiety-inducing ever since I found out the November 2024 results.

Extremism is gaining ground fast. Corruption runs deep in Romania, and everyone is fed up. It’s telling that both candidates are “anti-system,” at least on paper. The problem is the division: one side wants to burn everything to the ground, while the other wants to build on the foundation we already have.

On top of all that, there’s an ongoing political crisis (the government quit), the economy is in shambles, and Romania isn’t even sending contestants to Eurovision anymore. We’re not doing well.

Do I want to write about this? Hell no. I would rather poke fun at the recent HBO Max rebrand, debate the merits of Espresso Macchiato, or wonder about why reviewers are divided on Emily Henry’s latest book (I liked it).

However, I needed to provide context. I’m scared.

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Not to be controversial in the year of our overlords 2025 (!) but I believe fascism is bad.

I look at the US in disbelief. The Hunger Games and The Handmaid’s Tale no longer seem like fiction. My heart has been breaking for Ukraine for the past 3+ years, and I’ve been in awe of their resistance. I don’t even have words to describe the atrocity happening in Gaza.

It’s difficult for me to understand how we got here, and I’m frightened about what comes next.

Rewatching House M.D. for comfort, something the titular character says in season 2 has stuck with me:

“There’s an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends, and there’s an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn’t function.”

I’m grateful it’s easier than ever to communicate and stay informed. Considering the current state of the world, though, there’s a good chance staying informed will take a toll on your mental health.

These past couple of weeks, I’ve been glued to screens, keeping up with the presidential campaign. I’ve read news, opinions, watched TikToks and reels, tuned in for interviews and debates. When I wasn’t consuming content about politics, I was consuming other types of content to “relax.” It didn’t work too well.

My anxiety is currently through the roof, and my already dwindling attention span is shot. It’s hard to focus too deeply on anything, be it a movie, show, book.

Additionally, while my country is at a crossroads, I’ve been stuck at the same roundabout for the past year. I still have trouble finding freelance work, and I haven’t overcome my existential crisis, so I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. With no exits in sight, I’m spinning in circles.

Thankfully, I still have my sense of humor, which is keeping me from completely losing my mind. My fellow Romanians also excel in this department. The memes have been top-notch. I just hope that’s not the only thing we have going for ourselves come Monday morning.

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My personal situation aside, things aren’t rosy on a global scale. If you’re also having a hard time, show yourself some compassion. You’re no good if you’re exhausted, numb, and overwhelmed 24/7. Trouble is, that’s easier said than done.

When the bad times roll, my brain likes to play tricks on me. I forget the basics. That’s why I came up with a mental health cheat sheet I keep in my Notes app. While it might sound silly, it makes a difference. And at the risk of sounding like a wannabe guru, it might help you, too.

I don’t have a blueprint you can follow, but here’s mine:

As you can see, it’s not rocket science. It’s stuff I learned about myself over time. Stuff I lose track of when life becomes *a lot* and the sheer fabric of my brain is about to disintegrate.

It acts as a reminder to take care of myself rather than spiral deeper into despair.

Write yours down, keep it easily accessible, and refer to it whenever needed. Prepare for the worst, and you’re more likely to notice when said worst is happening.

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You’ll get this newsletter Sunday evening, Romania time, after the polls close. I need a distraction from obsessively refreshing the results page.

So far, Romanians abroad have been mobilizing to vote in impressive numbers. A high turnout might be a good sign.

Or maybe I’m delusional. It can go either way.

Plus, even if Dan wins, our immediate future is less than bright.

Still.

I’ll take less than bright over disastrous.

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Monday update: The extremist lost. Today is good.

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Photo by cottonbro studio