Last month today (March)
You were bigger than the whole sky.
Hi! I started this experiment of keeping a journal thingy almost a year ago. Catch up with December, January, February. If the entry is too long for email, you might need to click on a variation of “view entire post“ at the bottom. Thank you for reading, ily.
March 2
The SAG Actor Awards were last night. Michael B. Jordan won best actor in a leading role, happy for him. I hope Sinners sweeps at the Oscars, and not just because it’s still the only nominated film I’ve seen. It came out so long ago, people forgot how much of an impact it made.
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Netflix bowed out from purchasing Warner Bros. (includes HBO Max), so Paramount will acquire it. I’m guessing Last Week Tonight with John Oliver won’t be on the air for much longer, lol.
This also means HBO Max and Paramount+ will combine, which reminds me that I still have a subscription to SkyShowtime, the local version of the latter. And that I still haven’t watched M3gan 2.0.
March 4
Bought a fabulous faux leather jacket today. Haven’t fell for a piece of clothing this hard in a long, long time.
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Sarah J. Maas was on Call Her Daddy. Not into her books, but giddy when writers get to hog the spotlight.
March 5
Finished Workhorse by Caroline Palmer. Or it finished me, still don’t know why the book is so long. As I wrote last month, not much happened, and the editing is questionable. Which says a lot, because editing isn’t something you notice when it does what it’s supposed to.
It’s like the author, who previously worked in the world of fashion magazines, wanted to cram everything she knew about the industry into one book. Book that was fun at times, especially for someone like me, who enjoyed The Devil Wears Prada and The Bold Type. Overall, though… watch those? Or The Talented Mr. Ripley, if you want a protagonist who is cunning rather than whiny.
Also finished Just Watch Me by Lior Torenberg, a hyped book in my small corner of the internet.
Objectively, it’s well-done. The story follows a young woman who is struggling financially and starts livestreaming her life to raise cash for her comatose sister’s care. The longer the livestream goes, the more deranged she becomes. She also discovers a talent for eating spicy food, which is apparently an internet niche.
I loved how the author depicted the character’s preoccupation with money. She obsesses over how much she would make if x people donated, or if she managed to convince y people to watch. I’ve been there, it felt authentic. Also appreciated how the book explored the fine line between life and performance and captured various livestream watchers’ behaviors.
That said, I didn’t vibe with the main character, found her grating instead. While she has reason to be like that, it wasn’t fun to be in her head.
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Rumor has it Zendaya and Tom Holland got married. My Instagram has been flooded with fake/AI-generated pics from their “wedding.” Barf.
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Romania has its Eurovision entry. I don’t hate it.
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Trailer for the final season of The Boys is out. Wasn’t as happy with season 4 (turns out there is such a thing as too gross and on-the-nose), but adore the show overall. Let’s fucking go.
Prediction: Butcher and Homelander die, and the rest of The Boys survive, yes? YES?? I’m fragile; may Kripke have mercy on us all.
March 9
Timothée Chalamet made unfortunate comments about the ballet and opera, is now getting backlash. I found the responses from opera/ballet performers and institutions funny, but the discourse is exhausting. I don’t think his remarks were malicious, so this wave of hate directed his way isn’t warranted as far as I’m concerned.
What does piss me off when it comes to him is how his relationship with Kylie Jenner is constantly dragged in fan spaces. I don’t know why the world collectively decided he’s this incredibly smart guy (is it because he’s half French?) but, as a result, the public deems their romance baffling. What could they possibly talk about?
While I’m not a fan of the Kardashian clan, implying that Jenner has nothing to offer is ridiculous. She grew up in the spotlight, launched a successful cosmetic company, and has been an influential pop culture figure for over a decade. Also, have you seen what she looks like? If you ask me, she’s the one out of his league.
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Listened to How to Kill a Guy in 10 Dates by Shailee Thompson. It follows Jamie, a 20-something woman into slashers and rom-coms. She goes to a speed dating event with her best friend. A killer strikes before the festivities are over, trapping the participants in the nightclub and hunting them down as the night goes on.
This sounded like something concocted specifically for me, I had to pick it up immediately. The book is very meta; if you’re someone who likes both slashers and romantic comedies, you’ll likely have a good time. I found the girl friendship heartwarming and the slasher aspect well-done.
The romance part, though, was weird. It’s swoony, but I have trouble with the whole “let’s get handsy while being chased by a killer” thing. The meta of it all also became tiresome, and the killer is predictable. Still, these are minor qualms. Overall, the book was delicious.
March 13
We said good-bye to dog yesterday.
The house feels empty and my heart is shattered.
He was my very favorite thing.
March 16
The Oscars happened. Excited for Michael B. Jordan’s win, don’t have strong opinions otherwise. Maybe just that the Robert Downey Jr./Chris Evans bit was painfully dull.
Mostly everyone cleaned up good (albeit boring). Joe Alwyn’s bow tie was sad and Renate Reinsve’s dress looked unfinished. Frustrating, because she is a babe. Jessie Buckley’s outfit reminded me of one of Taylor Swift’s most iconic Grammy appearances. For favorite look, it might be a tie between Rose Byrne and Demi Moore.
From the parties, Jeff Goldblum and wife Emilie slayed, Megan Fox can step on me anytime she wants, and please enjoy this Heated Rivalry reunion.
Biggest revelation of this awards season? Many celebrities are beginning to look uncanny instead of glam. Mindy Kaling, however, looks gorgeous.
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Finished Leigh Stein’s If You’re Seeing This, It’s Meant for You. It’s about an unemployed, down on her luck millennial woman who takes a job managing a dilapidated mansion turned hype house for gen Z TikTok creators. There’s a mystery surrounding a missing tarot reader and some unadvised romance. You get POVs from the millennial and one of the wannabe influencers.
The book is mostly vibes. While there are gothic elements, the mansion itself wasn’t particularly creepy, and I expected the story to get much weirder/darker than it did. Underwhelming mystery, too.
Even so, I enjoyed it. It gets TikTok – what pushes someone to post and how influencers relate to their audience. Also how suffocating TikTok/social media can become for creators, more so than the mansion itself. Writing is solid, I liked that there were three generations under the same roof, and the story featured a cute rabbit (nothing bad happens to him).
Plus, yay for millennial loser representation. More of that, please.
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Speaking of suffocating, there is controversy surrounding the Romanian Eurovision entry. From a Guardian article:
“Romania’s Eurovision entry Choke Me has been labelled “dangerous” and “reckless” for appearing to glamorise sexual strangulation, an unsafe practice that can lead to brain injury and death. Campaigners against sexual violence said the entry, in which the words “choke me” are repeated 30 times during the three-minute song, was “playing fast and loose with young women’s lives”.
Have we completely lost our minds?
Is Take My Breath Away meant to be taken literally? Is Chokehold about a man being literally strangled? Even if we took it literally, overlords forbid a woman sings a dumb song about wanting to be strangled without being publicly stoned for acting like a bad role model. She obviously speaks for her entire gender, so the dumb song is carte blanche for people to strangle whomever they want.
Sigh.
March 18
Trailer for Spider-Man: Brand New Day is out. I like!!
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Paris Paloma released Miyazaki, a track inspired by Studio Ghibli director Hayao Miyazaki’s opposition to AI-generated art. In other words, the song is an ode to human creativity.
“I’d do it unpaid, unseen, unthanked / It’s worth more than anything that I have.”
March 19
As expected, I am having a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad time.
Missing dog feels like missing an organ. A vital one, not my appendix, which I misplaced in primary school and never mourned.
I’m angry at the trees for blooming and at the sun for shining, because the weather should be as gloomy as I am inside. I randomly burst into tears. Getting out of bed is a chore, and thinking about the future is impossible.
At the same time, I go on stupid little walks. I write in my stupid little journal. I’ve started to catch up with my stupid little tasks.
I’m occasionally blindsided by an overwhelming amount of stupid gratitude for not only having known him, but loving him so hard that the loss is crushing.
And I’ve been rewatching The Boys, because the gore and messed up humor are soothing. Regardless of how shitty my day is, Butcher has it worse.
I’ll experience joy again. Just not today.
Probably not tomorrow, either.
March 20
Chuck Norris died. Legend.
March 21
They’re finally showing a movie I’m interested in at my small local cinema so I went to see it. Project Hail Mary.
What a gem. Liked the book, and the adaptation is awesome. It looks impeccable, Ryan Gosling is wonderful, Rocky is precious, I’m fond of the friendship. Positives all around.
BUT. The movie is getting so much effusive praise, with many calling it a masterpiece, one of the best of all time, etc. While I was into the book and the movie, something held me back from labeling it god tier. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what until now.
It’s because the story is relentlessly feel-good. The stakes are enormous, but the narrative never digs too deep into the misery aspects of what’s going on. That’s by design. A cloud of sorrow would dim the whimsy. However, my Eastern European soul can’t take it. I’ll always crave a touch of existential despair.
Also, I now understand why the local cinema relies on Romanian content, gory horror, or guaranteed blockbusters. This was the first showing of Project Hail Mary, one of the biggest movies of the year, and around seven people were seated.
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The city where I used to live is hosting the big annual book fair. It’s the first time in years (or ever?) I’m not attending.
My friend and I made it a tradition. We would take a long walk, gawk at the stands, buy anything that catches our eye, stop for food and drinks on our way back. Fun day.
Experiencing fomo, yet making the trip required more joie de vivre than I can muster right now.
March 23
Harry Styles hosted SNL last weekend and, during one of his musical performances, was accompanied by the National Symphony Orchestra of Romania. I found this out via a social media video and wanted to learn how that happened.
Why? Out of all the orchestras? Tell me more!!
There is no more to tell, as my search for answers came out empty. Am I saying this is an important piece of news in the current global context? Not at all. But, as a Romanian, I am intrigued. Maybe there’s a story there. Why is no one looking into it? Is Romanian journalism truly dead?
I stumbled upon an article that was clearly AI-generated and skimmed it only to learn absolutely nothing. Went as far as to google “how to contact Harry Styles publicist” to ask them directly before realizing that I am acting unhinged and don’t even care that much.
Still, if you could somehow call Harry up and make inquiries, I would appreciate it.
March 27
The iHeart Awards happened. Taylor Swift was there. She brought her fiancé, looked pretty, and gave a great speech:
“I hope that your get to nurture your hobby and your passion just between you and that craft. And you give yourself time. Give yourself time to make mistakes, give yourself time to hone your craft. I’m a firm believer that anything you feed your mind, it will internalize. Anything you feed the internet, it will attempt to kill. And I don’t want that for your dreams.”
My social media is 90% Taylor again. The world is healing.
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A story about a pack of dogs escaping their kidnappers went viral recently. Turns out, the story is fake.
It fooled me. This hasn’t happened before, as far as I know, since I’m diligent about fact-checking.
Disappointed in myself. Also aware of the fact that this may become a more common occurrence moving forward. The internet is morphing into a cesspool of misinformation.
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Another story that made waves recently is about a book being pulled from traditional publishing on AI accusations. This Substack post offers a solid breakdown of events and makes great points.
We’re talking weird girl book, so this has been on my radar for months. Didn’t watch the 3-hour video, but was aware it exists. Also noticed the discourse going from “you must read this because it’s so good” to “maybe this book was written with AI so it’s trash” in real time.
I was hesitant to include this in the recap because I don’t have a fully-formed opinion yet. At the same time, it’s such a huge story it feels weird not to mention it.
I’m against using generative AI in the arts. However, this started to resemble a witch hunt, and it left me disillusioned with the trad publishing process.
Either the publishing company didn’t do its due diligence, or they went forward deciding that they don’t care as long as the book makes money. When the backlash intensified, they unceremoniously dropped the book rather than stand by their author.
(Not arguing that dropping the book was the wrong decision; again, I don’t have a fully-formed opinion. Simply pointing out that, as an author just starting out, being screwed over is a big possibility.)
My main concern as someone who hopes to publish a book one day revolves around how authors can and should protect themselves from AI accusations moving forward.
A while back, I had a gig with an agency offering clients a sort of human-written guarantee. We had to run our output through an AI checker and ensure the report said the writing is over 90% human. For me, that wasn’t always the result. By the end, I was spending more time trying to tweak the text so that the AI checker labelled it as human than doing the writing itself, which drove me mad.
I don’t mean that as a hyperbole. It was a dark time, fueled by paranoia. Am I shit? Is this because English is my second language? (Like to think that someone reading my writing would not be able to tell, maybe I’m wrong.) If this machine isn’t sure a human wrote this, will readers? Are the robots out to get me?
Generative AI has only evolved since.
My point is, the only way to ensure some degree of protection against AI accusations is to build trust with your audience, so you would ideally have an audience before you debut. And to relentlessly document your writing process/progress.
For now, I hope this newsletter as a whole is proof that I am human.
Hear me roar.
March 31
Mom wanted to see Reminders of Him, so we went to the cinema again this past weekend. I am single-handedly keeping the film industry alive.
A Colleen Hoover adaptation, it’s about a young woman who spent a few years in prison after her boyfriend died in a car crash. She gave birth behind bars and was separated from her daughter, who went to live with the dead boyfriend’s parents. Now out, the woman goes back to her small town, hoping to reconnect with the kid. She falls for her dead boyfriend’s best friend, an uncle figure in the kid’s life.
The movie wasn’t as bad as I expected, which isn’t saying much given that the bar was low after It Ends with Us. I liked the motherhood bits. Maika Monroe, whom I’ve only seen in horror, did a fine job, and Lauren Graham has played a mom so much that she can make you tear up with a single facial expression. Impressive, since she doesn’t have a lot to work with here.
The romance was never going to appeal to me because it’s way too convoluted and melodramatic, the type of romance which might work for people who love mess. The plot also requires you to suspend disbelief to a ridiculous amount, something I wasn’t capable of.
No regrets, though. Mom enjoyed it, and the landscapes were beautiful.
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I finished Girl Dinner by Olivie Blake. It centers on a college sorority, the kind where all the girls look perfect and go on to accomplish marvelous things. You follow a pledge hoping to join The House and a professor struggling to readapt to academic life after the birth of her daughter. She is tapped to become a sorority advisor.
If you want to know absolutely nothing about the book, please skip to the next *. I will give away plot details which I thought were obvious from the title and marketing but didn’t play as big of a role as I hoped and might be considered a spoiler.
Final warning.
So, I picked up the book believing it to be a kooky story about sorority cannibals, which isn’t what I got. The House does put together special dinners and there is a ritualistic aspect, but it’s not as front and center as I hoped. Plus, the book is less campy and more lit-fic, featuring tons of commentary on girlhood, womanhood, female empowerment, and so on. It’s satire, which worked for me at times, but mostly came across as tiresome instead of absurd, so didn’t 100% land.
I found it too meandering, with the relentless commentary pushing the plot into the background. It never gripped me. The author relies on telling rather than showing, and there’s only so much internal monologue in the vein of “I’m a bad mother and my husband kind of sucks” I can take. Plus, the ending was rushed and weird.
Bottom line, I wish I would have gone into it with the right expectations. Funnily enough, I believe it’s the kind of book that would greatly benefit men who say they “don’t understand women.” Too bad they will never pick it up.
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Other stuff I consumed recently:
M3gan 2.0 – they dropped the campy horror comedy angle for the sequel and delivered a campy action/spy comedy which sadly isn’t my thing, M3gan still slays
The Scrubs revival – to my surprise, it continues to be delightful, this might be the rare reboot that works
Paradise – season 2 is done and I had a blast!! This show is so corny at times, yet I was unapologetically invested throughout; the story is going in such a bonkers direction I’m all in
The Running Point season 2 trailer – the first season was light and pleasant, I look forward to this (April 23)
The Hacks season 5 trailer – love the show and don’t want it to end but I guess it’s time, I’ll be ready (premieres April 9)
Also devoured a few Substack pieces that stayed with me:
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Taylor Swift unexpectedly and unceremoniously dropped a music video for Elizabeth Taylor in the form of an Elizabeth Taylor compilation clip. Weird move. Still hoping we’ll get a live performance from this album at some point.
April 1
Another month has gone. I don’t have words of wisdom, running on autopilot right now. Colors are dull, sounds are muffled, everything moves at half-speed. I started about five drafts for new posts over the last few weeks but lack the drive to finish any of them. And if I eat more emotional support snacks I might explode.
I leave you with this Verizon ad short film by Nia DaCosta featuring Connor Storrie.
It put half a smile on my face.
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So sorry about Dog! ❤️
Sorry about dog! ❤️
> Am I shit? Is this because English is my second language?
Your English is really good. Like, in the top-few-percent-of-humans-good. You've been paid to write repeatedly, so your clients also thought you're good. Problem is, AI is also really good now. If you want to distinguish your writing from AI, you need quirky formulations. Maybe even "mistakes" or "typos".
> being publicly stoned for acting like a bad role model
Could you say... they choked her? 😆