I would like to thank Sabrina Carpenter for being hot

Women should be flirty but also classy because people still look at you funny if you imply that you enjoy sex.

I like Sabrina Carpenter. I’m as surprised as anyone about that.

I’m more than a decade older than her and not a Disney person. I didn’t grow up watching her on TV. I also didn’t use to be much of a pop girlie. I vibed with rock music.

I love Taylor Swift; but mainly for her lyrics and her This Is Me Trying rather than her Shake It Off or ME!

In fact, that’s how I started to like Sabrina. She opened for the Eras Tour and would do these cheeky outros, a different one every time, personalized for whatever city she was in.

I noticed on social media that people called them Nonsense outros. I was so unfamiliar with her that, at first, I didn’t understand that Nonsense was the name of the song. I thought they were called so because she was singing nonsense.

(Getting old? Sub-optimal.)

Alas, she caught my attention, so I made it a point to listen to Espresso when it came out. Later, I inhaled her entire album. It was love at first listen. Short n’ Sweet has no skips as far as I’m concerned. It’s banger after banger.

I don’t know her older music, and I’m fine with that. I no longer feel the need to memorize each biographical detail and lyric of an artist I like to prove myself, afraid that someone will quiz me as soon as I mention my fondness.

If a music snob asks me to name three songs when they see me wearing a Sex Pistols tee, I tell them I don’t think Sex Pistols are a band. It’s just a brand that makes clothes.

You know, like Nirvana.

I then take a slow sip of my drink as they hyperventilate.

(Highly recommend.)

Back to Short n’ Sweet, the album is fun, mostly feel-good, and witty.

Incredibly horny, too.

*

On top of liking Sabrina’s latest music, I enjoy her entire shtick. Her public persona is confident, playful, charming, sexy.

That doesn’t come at the expense of her smarts or sense of humor. She’s the queen of double entendres, dirty jokes, knowing smirks.

Every now and then, Sabrina has a vulnerable moment when she confesses her insecurities and admits that she can be a dum dum, usually because men.

She’s just a girl. In fact, I find it impressive that she’s so blatantly for the girls.

She embraces her femininity and sex appeal, wearing stage outfits that resemble lingerie. She draws inspiration from old Hollywood glam. She’s petite, blonde, and gorgeous.

Yet, to me, it never seems like she’s performing solely for the male gaze. She gives off the impression that she does it because that’s who she is, and she wants to feel empowered.

The current version of Sabrina is sexy and mischievous and fab for herself.

Naturally, some people aren’t pleased.

*

At one point, many claimed that Sabrina intentionally dresses like a little girl to cater to dudes who like their women (too) young.

This pissed me off because gods forbid a grown woman dresses how she wants independent of men.

Earlier this month, she performed at the BRIT Awards.

I sent the final snippet of her performance to a friend, joking that Sabrina went to the UK to scandalise the Brits.

(Can we note that I used scandalise instead of scandalize on purpose? Thanks, love.)

I was surprised to find out that some were, indeed, scandalized.

Additionally, her current tour has a new tradition. At every concert, she strikes a different pose during her song Juno, asking Have you ever tried this one?

It’s not hard to figure out what kind of positions she’s referring to.

A few days ago in Paris, she debuted a three-way Juno pose, paying homage to the Eiffel Tower.

Because she was in France! And it was funny! And it’s on brand!

The discourse that followed?

I haven’t used X since it went downhill due to obvious reasons, so I can’t imagine the uproar there, but it was enough to glance at a few TikTok comment sections to get the gist.

The kinder negative comments call her cringey, the harsher ones call her desperate, the unhinged ones don’t deserve a quote.

I did hear a woman refer to her as a “glorified stripper” on a podcast, though, which is about the point where my blood started to boil.

She meant it as an insult.

*

Being a stripper is hard work, and I don’t believe the term should have negative connotations.

But in the context above, it was reductive. It implies that Sabrina achieved her current level of success because she dresses provocatively and has a “sexy doll” image.

While I’m sure those things don’t hurt, I find it annoying when her confident persona is boiled down to “mimics sex acts on stage.”

Never mind her talent, versatility, vocal chops, stage presence, tongue-in-cheek humor, et cetera.

When women embrace their sexuality, they’re often met with criticism, especially when that expression doesn’t conform to traditional ideals of how we should behave.

During my teen years in the 00s, women were slut shamed on the regular.

It was a decade of weird contradictions.

The media was obsessed with virginity for some reason, but if you went to college before having sex you were a prude.

You were supposed to dress attractively to appeal to men, but you weren’t supposed to just “give it away,” because that meant you were “easy.”

Women were caught between the pressure to be sexually appealing and being met with harsh judgment for acting on that appeal.

While I’m glad that many things have improved, these negative comments about Sabrina reek of the same toxicity.

lol

The idea that women should be seductive, but only in a way that’s acceptable to others, hasn’t gone away. It just shifts as the years go by.

Women continue to face tired critiques for expressing their sexuality. There’s also the underlying suggestion that, when they do, it must be because they’re seeking attention.

It can’t possibly be because they enjoy wearing sexy clothes or want to have fun.

They’re surely performing for men.

*

I usually wear baggy jeans and band tees. I also like lingerie.

There’s something decadent about putting on a negligee, pouring myself a drink, lighting a candle, listening to music as I chill.

It makes me feel hot. I don’t need company to enjoy this little ritual, and I often engage in it when I’m by myself.

One of the first times I wore lingerie while hanging out with an ex, he said something along the lines of, “You don’t have to do all that for me.”

He went on to explain that he’s not really a lingerie guy and doesn’t care what I wear either way.

I realized it didn’t even cross his mind that I might be doing all that for myself.

And that’s the thing. More often than not, women express themselves sexually for their own pleasure.

The popularity of the clean girl aesthetic and trad wife content may have made some (or even ourselves) forget that we’re not inherently demure.

We might sanitize bits to avoid judgment. Deep down, we’re occasionally horny and messy and vulgar and feral.

And those moments can make life amazingly fun.

In a time when your phone is why you don’t feel sexy, Sabrina’s willingness to embrace that side of herself reminds me that it feels damn good to get into your body and out of your head.

I’m grateful for that.

---

My content is currently free, but you can support my work on Ko-Fi. I’ll spend your money on prosecco, books, and rent – probably in that order.

---

Sabrina pics are from her official Facebook page